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local anesthetic

from Flabbergaster by Gabe Schwartz

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about

Dentistry, am I right?

lyrics

Been trying to take my wisdom teeth since I was sixteen years old
Never bothered me too much, so I always postponed
Eventually on the lower left, sideways they had grown
I finally gave up the fight at the age of forty one

Yeah, that's 25 years

All I asked for was local anesthetic
My eyes were wide open when they did it
I didn't feel it, but I felt it
It was $140 and I don't regret it

Dentist popped the needle in and gave me half an hour
Came back with the assistant and they jumped into my mouth
They pushed and pulled and prodded things, almost broke a tooth in half
eventually they got a hold and pulled that sucker out

They even let me take a picture of it

All I asked for was local anesthetic
My eyes were wide open when they did it
I didn't feel it, but I felt it
It was $140 and I don't regret it

I sent the picture to my whole family and it was a laugh
To me exclusively, because I am quite the ass
No trigger warning, just some giant teeth, a bloody mess
From a guy who saved a couple grand by foregoing laughing gas

credits

from Flabbergaster, released March 1, 2023
Gabe wrote, recorded, played all things

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Gabe Schwartz Ohio

Witness the sight of a middle-aged man trying hard to not seem like he's trying hard and spiraling in shame because of it. Drink in the self interest masquerading as self effacing in the midst of self serving self deprecation.
Gabe Schwartz is a nominal musician and songwriter. Possibly. He attempts these feats alone as testament to the great difficulty he has in interacting with others. ... more

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