1. |
Pitbull bodyslam
02:51
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I have this pitbull
We call her moop
She is a mini muscle monster
She will surprise you
That girl will surprise you
She has a brother
His name is Barney
And he is a shit
She will surprise you
That girl will surprise you
She'll pin him between her shoulder and neck
And slam him on the ground
Pitbull body slam
I saw it
I swear I saw it
The first time I saw it
I had no idea what to do
Incredulous
That girl will surprise you
I let them play
Get their sillies out
She'll let him know when she's done
She will surprise you
That girl will surprise you
She will pick you up with her fat little arms
And slam you to the ground
Pitbull body slam
I saw it
I swear I saw it
Pitbull body slam
I saw it
It was awesome
They are the same height
They are the same height
But she has the density of a black hole
She is built like a ninja turtle
Pitbull body slam
I saw it
I swear I saw it
Pitbull body slam
I saw it
It was awesome
But don't be scared
Pit bulls are safe
Lovely creatures
Unless you're a little shit
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2. |
Best Friends
03:03
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Best friends
Oh oh Maybelline
That's Barnaby
And I know you can't see
the end
Oh oh Maybelline
This Barnaby
Fella’s going to be
Your friend
It's weird right now
He's on your couch
World upside down
But you'll be best friends
Best friends
Best friends
Oh oh Barnaby
That's Maybelline
You can put your teeth
Away
Oh oh Barnaby
That Maybelline
Is the reigning queen
Of this place
She's mean right now
But this is her house
You'll come around
And be best friends
Best friends
Best friends
Best friends
Solo
Cuddled on the couch
And you thrashed the house
Your guard’s let down
And you're best friends
Best friends
Best friends
Best friends
And you're best friends
Best friends
Best friends
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3. |
He only
02:52
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Sometimes when shes goes to sleep
At least from what shes telling me
Little fella may try to sneak
To defecate onto her jeans
She said
She said
He only
He only
He only
Shits in my pants
Oh, What can I say to this
It's kind of hilarious
I know he's a bad, bad boy
But honestly, it brings me joy
She said
She said
He only
He only
He only
Shits in my pants
He only
He only
He only
Shits in my pants
She said
She said
He only
He only
He only
Shits in my pants
He only
He only
He only
Shits in my pants
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Gabe Schwartz Ohio
Witness the sight of a middle-aged man trying hard to not seem like he's trying hard and spiraling in shame because of it.
Drink in the self interest masquerading as self effacing in the midst of self serving self deprecation.
Gabe Schwartz is a nominal musician and songwriter. Possibly. He attempts these feats alone as testament to the great difficulty he has in interacting with others.
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