We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

Dummies

by Gabe Schwartz

/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. Paying supporters also get unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app.
    Purchasable with gift card

      name your price

     

1.
I have this pitbull We call her moop She is a mini muscle monster She will surprise you That girl will surprise you She has a brother His name is Barney And he is a shit She will surprise you That girl will surprise you She'll pin him between her shoulder and neck And slam him on the ground Pitbull body slam I saw it I swear I saw it The first time I saw it I had no idea what to do Incredulous That girl will surprise you I let them play Get their sillies out She'll let him know when she's done She will surprise you That girl will surprise you She will pick you up with her fat little arms And slam you to the ground Pitbull body slam I saw it I swear I saw it Pitbull body slam I saw it It was awesome They are the same height They are the same height But she has the density of a black hole She is built like a ninja turtle Pitbull body slam I saw it I swear I saw it Pitbull body slam I saw it It was awesome But don't be scared Pit bulls are safe Lovely creatures Unless you're a little shit
2.
Best Friends 03:03
Best friends Oh oh Maybelline That's Barnaby And I know you can't see the end Oh oh Maybelline This Barnaby Fella’s going to be Your friend It's weird right now He's on your couch World upside down But you'll be best friends Best friends Best friends Oh oh Barnaby That's Maybelline You can put your teeth Away Oh oh Barnaby That Maybelline Is the reigning queen Of this place She's mean right now But this is her house You'll come around And be best friends Best friends Best friends Best friends Solo Cuddled on the couch And you thrashed the house Your guard’s let down And you're best friends Best friends Best friends Best friends And you're best friends Best friends Best friends
3.
He only 02:52
Sometimes when shes goes to sleep At least from what shes telling me Little fella may try to sneak To defecate onto her jeans She said She said He only He only He only Shits in my pants Oh, What can I say to this It's kind of hilarious I know he's a bad, bad boy But honestly, it brings me joy She said She said He only He only He only Shits in my pants He only He only He only Shits in my pants She said She said He only He only He only Shits in my pants He only He only He only Shits in my pants

about

By dummies for dummies.

credits

released February 7, 2024

Gabe Schwartz played every instrument, sang and wrote every word, and engineered, mixed, produced, etc. blah, blah, blah.

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Gabe Schwartz Ohio

Witness the sight of a middle-aged man trying hard to not seem like he's trying hard and spiraling in shame because of it. Drink in the self interest masquerading as self effacing in the midst of self serving self deprecation.
Gabe Schwartz is a nominal musician and songwriter. Possibly. He attempts these feats alone as testament to the great difficulty he has in interacting with others.
... more

contact / help

Contact Gabe Schwartz

Streaming and
Download help

Redeem code

Report this album or account

Gabe Schwartz recommends:

If you like Gabe Schwartz, you may also like: